I first joined the STST Level 1 training with the intention of gaining a deeper understanding of myself and fostering a stronger internal connection. Prior to this training, I had explored Virginia Satir’s work through her books and videos, feeling a deep resonance with her philosophy on life and her holistic approach to the human experience. However, much of my understanding of Satir’s concept of the holistic human remained theoretical. This course offered me the invaluable opportunity to truly embody Satir’s teachings on being holistically connected within oneself and the impactful use of self in therapy. It reminded me of the saying, “You can write a PhD thesis on honey, but only by tasting it can you truly understand its essence.”
The course itself is exceptionally well-structured, consisting of three-day, five-hour intensive training sessions held monthly over six months. When I say intensive, I truly mean it—though conducted online, each moment was dynamic, engaging, and deeply immersive. Every session left me with new insights to process and integrate, and the impact continued to unfold even after the training days concluded. Each day began with a meditation session, grounding me and setting the stage for deep, introspective work. The theoretical concepts introduced during the sessions came alive through live therapy demonstrations led by one of the trainers. These demonstrations were transformative, bringing Satir’s ideas into vivid focus through direct application. Observing and participating in these live sessions underscored Satir’s belief that human connection transcends individual experience, reminding me that we are all linked through shared struggles and joys. Through these therapy demonstrations, I came to deeply appreciate one of Satir’s core tenets: “The problem is not the problem; how we cope with it is the problem.” I witnessed and experienced firsthand how transformation occurs in the present moment, facilitated by a therapist’s genuine belief that each client possesses the resources within themselves to connect congruently with their core self. This trust, this commitment to the client’s inherent wisdom, became a powerful catalyst for change. Between the training sessions, we worked in self-selected trios, practicing the skills and techniques we had learned in the context of real-life challenges. This consistent work with the same group created a profound bond of trust, enabling authentic interactions and providing a supportive space to explore new skills. These trio practices not only reinforced my learning but also allowed me to experience Satir’s teachings on a deeply personal level.
One of the most impactful aspects of this course was the collaborative and nurturing environment fostered by the trainers. They worked together to create a space that was both safe and inclusive, welcoming our unique differences with genuine acceptance and curiosity. Their respectful and responsive approach reminded me that true learning and growth occur in an atmosphere of openness, trust, and a willingness to accept differences without judgment. Their support and guidance made me feel valued, which encouraged me to step outside my comfort zone and engage fully, allowing myself to grow in ways I had not thought possible.
A particularly powerful moment for me occurred when one of the trio-groups encountered challenges while working together. In many settings, such challenges could lead to tension, discomfort, or even conflict within the larger group. However, the trainers approached the situation with complete transparency and acceptance, and a focus on exploring multiple pathways to resolution. This demonstrated their commitment not only to teaching Satir’s concepts but to living by them. Their approach emphasised the importance of respect, empathy, and open communication in overcoming difficulties. Through this experience, I deeply connected with Satir’s Five Freedoms:
The freedom to see and hear what is here, instead of what “should be,” “was,” or “will be.” I learned to use my courage to be fully present and engage with what is real and immediate, rather than clinging to expectations or assumptions.
The freedom to say what you feel and think, instead of what you “should” feel and think. I have new believes that expressing my genuine thoughts and feelings fosters a sense of integrity and authenticity in my interactions.
The freedom to feel what you feel, instead of what you “ought” to feel. Allowing myself to acknowledge and experience my emotions without judgment was both liberating and self-affirming.
The freedom to ask for what you want, instead of always waiting for permission. I felt comfortable to articulate my needs and advocate for myself—a significant milestone in my personal development.
The freedom to take risks on my own behalf, instead of choosing only security. I began to see risk-taking not as something to fear but as a doorway to growth and self-discovery.
Through these freedoms, I came to understand that experiencing genuine acceptance is a powerful catalyst for transformation. The realisation that growth begins with embracing my true self—without fear or reservation—was a profound lesson.
In the early stages of the course, I often felt timid and hesitant to share my thoughts, fearing mistakes or judgment. As the sessions progressed, however, I found myself in an environment where taking risks and being vulnerable felt safe. The trainers’ unwavering openness and acceptance created fertile ground for my growth, allowing me to step out of my comfort zone and share my experiences without restraint. This newfound sense of safety enabled me to connect more deeply with myself and those around me.
In this supportive space, I began to recognise my own ‘icebergs’—the deep-seated beliefs, expectations and emotions that shape my behaviours—and the coping stances I have used to shield myself from overwhelming experiences. Remarkably, this newfound awareness did not lead me to self-blame or judgements of the ways I had responded in the past. Instead, I felt compassion and gratitude towards myself for the strategies I had developed to protect myself during difficult times. With this increased awareness and self-acceptance, I now have more choices. I am willing to face challenging feelings, meet them with compassion, and allow them to flow through me rather than avoiding them. This understanding planted the seed of a new belief: in times of difficulty, I want to connect with myself deeply, allowing myself the freedom to engage with the Five Freedoms and clearly identify my needs before responding. While I know this work is challenging and requires presence, courage, and commitment, I am determined to persevere. Even if I can only reflect afterward at times, each step is a meaningful stride toward growth.
Another crucial aspect of the course that facilitated deep learning was the consistent practice within the same trio. This safe and supportive space enabled me to refine and apply the techniques and tools taught during the course. Working repeatedly with the same individuals fostered trust and allowed for more authentic interactions and constructive feedback. Through this ongoing practice, I gained profound insights into my own behaviours, my ‘icebergs,’ and the coping stances I use with different people and families. This self-awareness has not only enriched my therapeutic practice but has also been transformative in my personal journey of growth.
Through this training, I have come to recognise my inherent worth. I understand now that my desire for growth stems not from self-doubt but from a place of genuine aspiration to evolve. I realise that I am “good enough” as I am and that my pursuit of knowledge and self-improvement is an expression of my self-worth, not a question of it. This course has been a transformative journey that has allowed me to embrace vulnerability as a strength and see my value as a whole, evolving person.
I wholeheartedly recommend this training to anyone seeking a truly transformative experience in both self-work and therapeutic practice. It goes far beyond theory, fostering deep connection, acceptance, and personal growth. It opens your eyes to truly see the unique beauty of each individual and recognise how every connection is special, unique and sacred. It encourages us to appreciate the present moment while inspiring us to reach new heights and embrace the possibilities of growth.
By Cherry Wu
